Devastated by a 21 week loss due to multiple congenital anomalies, followed by a miscarriage at 8 weeks, blessed by two, unmedicated births (one at a hospital and one at home during the pandemic).
Jana walks through their complicated and heartbreaking decision to terminate a 21-week baby boy with multiple, congenital abnormalities. She highlights *some* of their decision-making process and the incredible medical care they received along the way. Shortly after that loss, Jana and her husband were then hit with a miscarriage at 8 weeks. As healthcare providers, they struggled with what this meant for future pregnancies, how this impacted their marriage and professional life.
After fertility consults that said, “everything is fine,” and several months of trying, they were successful with another pregnancy. While this pregnancy seemed to outsiders as “routine,” it was riddled with stress and anxiety, fearful they would loose this baby too. Specialists assured them, that this was a healthy pregnancy. Friends and family were an irreplaceable support system, constantly reminding them to take in one day at a time. Jana remembers, “our family and friends were so kind, listening to our worries and helping to share in some of our burden.”
In early November 2018, after 10 hours of laboring at home (in denial) with her husband and doula, Jana admitted she was in labor and agreed to go to the hospital. Jana delivered a healthy, baby boy, 10 minutes after arriving to the hospital. While that delivery was “quick,” it was also not the birth experience she had hoped for. Jana knew if there was another pregnancy, the delivery would be different; she wanted a more positive, natural childbirth experience.
Their fourth pregnancy came in fall of 2019— they never expected to be making the decision about this pregnancy/delivery in the middle of a pandemic. As the pandemic worsened, they decided to hire a homebirth midwife and deliver the baby at home. Jana labored again with her doula, husband and midwife birth team. Start to finish, this process was just over 4 hours. In June 2020, Jana and her husband celebrated a successful homebirth and welcomed another baby boy; so much joy amidst the pandemic sorrow and previous losses. The homebirth was the best choice for their family and 100% supported the natural child birthing experience.
Jana Parrish Bio
Jana and her husband live in Michigan with their two boys. When she’s not working as a nurse, she can be found doing projects with her husband, baking, amateur strawbale gardening and trying to keep two, tiny humans alive. Instagram: @jfrenchie
Resources
- Expecting and Empowered- all things pelvic PT
- Safe in the Seat- Newborn carseat safety
- Taking Cara Babies- sleep training, but really all things newborn/baby
- Building Blocks Family- family dynamics, bringing home baby #2, all things toddler
- Modern Michigan Doula
- Compassionate Hands Birth Services
- Expecting Better by Emily Oster
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