To speak with experience requires one having taken the journey. To speak with knowledge requires teachers. No one is a more experienced teacher of the joys and challenges of motherhood than mothers themselves!
There are endless experiences of motherhood: from tranquil peaceful moments, to peak triumphs, and tension-filled ordeals. As both a family doctor and perinatal psychotherapist, I have had the privilege of partnering with hundreds of women as they enter motherhood. Each has her own unique experience.
For over two decades I have treated women with postpartum depression (PPD) and postpartum anxiety (PPA). These are experiences that I wish for no one to endure, yet 1 out of 7 moms develop PPD and 1 in 10 develop PPA. Unfortunately, perinatal mood and anxiety disorders are common.
Women describe PPD as feeling overwhelmed, sad or numb, irritable, empty, exhausted, or feeling like a failure as a mother. PPD robs moms of their ability to take pleasure in sweet moments with their baby. It can even block your ability to bond with your baby.
Often PPD dramatically amplifies relationship distress in a couple. Maternal depression increases the risk of a partner developing PPD. (One in ten dads and adoptive moms get PPD too!) Many moms don’t even realize that the cause of what they’re feeling is depression. Instead, they withdraw from support and blame themselves or their partners, rather than the depression they are enduring.
Over the past 20 years our knowledge of treatments, including natural options, counseling, and medications, has improved dramatically. Perhaps even more importantly, multiple studies have proven that specific strategies can prevent perinatal depression. Contrary to popular belief, hormonal changes are not the sole cause of PPD. Instead there are many contributing factors responsible: prolonged sleep deprivation, stress, life changes, isolation, loss of one’s prior life, etc.
The good news is that because there are so many causes coming together to create it, we can make numerous interventions to treat PPD and prevent it. Let’s start with the basics. Getting adequate sleep is essential for wellness. That’s easier said than done! That’s why I teach over 20 different methods for improving your sleep quality and quantity. Some techniques are as simple as giving your baby a ‘dream feed’ each night. Just this one simple routine of waking a baby to feed last thing before you or your partner goes to bed at night, has been shown to increase parental sleep and reduce PPD.
There are numerous other techniques that can help, including getting twenty minutes of morning sunshine daily or developing a daily practice of gratitude. Even certain foods can reduce PPD: such as 1) Omega-3 fatty acids found in fish oil or chia seeds, 2) Vitamin D from milk, supplements or sunshine, or 3) Selenium – just one Brazil nut a day is all you need to get the recommended amount to boost your mood.
There are also many strategies that can reduce postpartum anxiety (PPA). Spending at least 30 minutes a day doing something you enjoy away from your baby (while a trusted person watches them), allows your maternal vigilance to rest. This is so important when you are otherwise responsible for your baby 24/7. When you give your protective ‘baby radar’ a break, you create space to be your ‘old self’. If separating from your baby feels difficult, start with ten minute breaks daily and gradually increase.
You can also reduce your stress by practicing self care. Specific self-care strategies, such as taking periodic 1-minute pauses to breathe, can reduce your stress level and improve your energy level.
In addition, there are techniques to increase teamwork in a couple. When your partner actively assists you to get more sleep and take things off your plate you feel more supported and understood.
Knowing what predictable pitfalls commonly trigger depression and how to side-step them, can make a huge difference in your entire family’s wellness and contentment. These preventative measures can be found in medical and psychology research journals, but every woman should have the tools to thrive through motherhood. In my masterclass I teach these strategies in bite-sized chunks for busy moms. Each of these techniques helps just a little bit, but when you put them all together in one simple program, you create a powerful force for wellbeing in motherhood. This is how you get off to a great start! That’s the purpose of the Motherhood Survival Manual Masterclass.
The Birth Hour team has been huge fans of Kindred Bravely for several years and have loved watching the brand grow and their clothing lines get better and better. Today, we are highlighting a few of our favorite items that we consider MUST HAVES to get you through pregnancy all the way to postpartum and breastfeeding!
If you are a listener of The Birth Hour then you’ve certainly heard our host, Bryn, talk about her love of the Simply Sublime line from Kindred Bravely. We love the original Simply Sublime bra, racerback bra, sports bra, and pumping bra BUT the tank top takes the cake for us when it comes to a clothing item you will live in during pregnancy and while nursing. It is so stretchy yet slightly compressive helping you feel comfortably hugged but never restricted when your body is changing by the day. The nursing clips are easy to use and the genius of the Simply Sublime built-in bra makes it flattering (no uni-boob here!) and functional for wearing around town but also comfortable to sleep in. Last but not least, the Simply Sublime® Maternity & Nursing Tank comes in Busty sizing making it the only tank we’ve tried that has an option that is truly designed for larger cup sizes. The Simply Sublime Nursing Bra comes in sizes for 30b-46i!
Left is a Large in regular sizing and Right is a Medium-Busty sizing. The coverage and support is amazing in busty size if you are larger chested!
You may not immediately think of maternity and postpartum underwear being a necessity when it comes to your changing body (surely regular underwear will do the job right?). Well, while you may be able to make it work with your regular underwear, you will be SO MUCH more comfortable in Kindred Bravely’s Grow with Me Maternity & Postpartum Briefs. They are buttery soft and very stretchy so they will work throughout your pregnancy and postpartum phases. Although, we do recommend switching to the High-Waisted Postpartum Recovery Panties for a little more support after baby arrives.
If you’ve been pregnant before, you may have had that one maternity item that you just didn’t want to let go of even months after baby had arrived. Well, we are here to tell you that the Louisa Maternity & Postpartum Support Leggings will become that item for you! The most magically comfortable and soft leggings that offer the perfect amount of compression and have pockets (a must in our opinion!). We truly do not understand how Kindred Bravely has managed to create a legging that stretches over a 40-week belly, yet still holds its shape to provide support for a postpartum belly in the most flattering way right after baby makes their appearance. These leggings come in several colors and you will want them all once you try them! We recommend starting with the classic black and they will become a staple in your wardrobe. They also have capri, crop, and non-pocketed options—check them all out here.
Once you feel this bamboo fabric from Kindred Bravely you will want the entire collection. This is why we couldn’t choose just one item! Everyone will have the styles they prefer more whether it’s a nightgown, shorts set, tank top, joggers, or t-shirt. This fabric is buttery soft but also breathable (we all know that being hot and sweaty is a struggle while pregnant or postpartum!). Everything from this line is stretchy and almost all of the options can be worn not only as sleepwear but to run errands as well!
If you plan to do any pumping at all then this pumping and nursing bra will be your new BFF. It feels exactly like the Simply Sublime Nursing Bra when you wear it, it just has the added benefit of functioning as a pumping bra when you need it. AND IT COMES IN BUSTY SIZING!! Birth Hour host, Bryn, could never find a pumping bra that fit her larger chest with her first two babies and discovering Kindred Bravely’s Sublime® Hands-Free Pumping &Nursing Bra was a game changer for baby #3. This might not be as fun to shop for as comfy loungewear or cute leggings but it’s a functional item that you will be glad you have when the time comes!
You can see more of Bryn’s favorite items from Kindred Bravely on her Instagram highlights here. And be sure to use the coupon code BIRTHHOUR for 20% off your purchase at kindredbravely.com.
Comprehensive & Evidence-Based Childbirth Course from The Birth Hour
I’m so excited to announce The Birth Hour’s signature online childbirth course. Know Your Options is THE most comprehensive online childbirth course in existence! In this course, we will take you from the final weeks of pregnancy through postpartum and newborn care covering all of the evidence-based information for all types of birth, no matter what you are planning!
If you are worried about navigating today’s birth system have maybe had a bad birth experience where your power was taken away from you in the past, we want to help!
But, despite doing your research, you’re still feeling overwhelmed and unprepared and that’s OK. We have totally been there too. There is still time to prepare and we are confident that we can help you achieve an empowering birth. This is our expertise and passion!
IMAGINE WHAT YOUR BIRTH WOULD LOOK LIKE IF…
You didn’t have to choose between an unmedicated birth and a hospital birth.
You’re informed in every single decision you and your partner make.
You feel empowered to speak up when it comes to how you labor and birth your baby.
Because THAT is exactly what this course will do: It gives you options so you can choose where and how to give birth based on all of the most up-to-date evidence based information available coupled with learning to trust your instincts and make decisions based on what is right for YOU.
What exactly do we cover? 12 Incredible Evidence-Based Modules + Bi-Weekly Zoom Calls
Module 1: Pre-Labor
Intro to decision-making & advocacy in birth.
What is evidence-based care, intro into increasing your odds of getting family centered care.
Last Weeks of Pregnancy.
Cervical exams: what they are, what they do/don’t tell us, when they are useful and when they are not.
How to tell the difference between labor and false alarms.
Module 2: Planned Cesarean
Gentle or Family Centered Cesarean. What is it?
Questions to ask your doctor to make sure you’re on the same page (includes free download).
Video of Gentle Cesarean.
Module 3: Early Labor
Overview of labor, divided into stages and phases. Normal variations of length of each stage.
Early Labor Coping Strategies.
Spontaneous labor: When to call your provider
Module 4: Induction
Why might your labor be induced?
How is labor induced?
What are some risks of induction, and how can you improve your odds of your induction ending in a vaginal birth?
Risks of induction/cascade of intervention.
Module 5: Active Labor
How can you cope with active labor?
When should you leave for your birth location (or ask the midwife to come)?
What should you pack, whom should you invite to be there, and how will you make your wishes known in labor?
Typical interventions upon arrival at birth location.
Coping strategies.
Module 6: Transition
How will you cope with the most intense phase of labor?
What pain medication options do you have?
Why might you need a cesarean during labor, and how can you reduce your risk of needing one?
Module 7: Pushing
How can you reduce your risk of tearing?
What breathing techniques and positioning are helpful in pushing?
What happens if your baby needs help getting out?
How can you best advocate for your preferences during labor?
Module 8: Baby’s First Day
What interventions might be offered to your baby in the first hours of life?
Immediate newborn procedures.
Hep B & Circumcision.
What is going on with the birthing person before and after the birth of the placenta?
How can you get off to the best start with nursing?
Module 9: Postpartum Recovery
What are the signs that a parent may be experiencing mood & anxiety disorders?
What are the essentials to have on hand for recovery after birth?
How can you plan ahead and make those first few weeks after birth easier on yourself?
Giving yourself time to heal and knowing when to call for help.
Module 10: Establishing Nursing
How to establish a robust milk supply.
Positioning and latching theory.
What tips and tricks can you try to make nursing as comfortable as possible?
What signs can you look for to know when things are going well or when you need to call for help?
Module 11: Bottle Feeding
What if nursing doesn’t work, or you don’t want to do it at all?
Choosing a formula and Safe formula preparation.
What is the best way to bottle feed?
How do you choose which bottles to use?
How and how much to feed.
What is paced bottle feeding?
Module 12: Newborn Care Basics
Why might your baby cry, and how can you calm them?
How do you decide where your baby will sleep?
How do you get your baby to sleep?!?
Newborn hygiene: diapering, bathing, dressing, nail trimming, snot sucking, etc.
PLUS Bigger-than-a-Bonus: Beyond the Latch: pumping, bottle feeding, going back to paid work + keeping your baby fed
Then, we’ve got you covered when you’re going back to work with an additional six module Beyond the Latch Course that you will get completely free as part of enrollment in the Know Your Options Childbirth Course!
This is an additional 6 Module Course designed to take the guesswork, worry, and stress out of maintaining your nursing relationship with your baby when you return to paid work.
We will help you:
Identify specific strategies for pumping, storing, thawing, and feeding human milk.
Troubleshoot ways to boost milk production.
Guide you in making plans with your employer, your baby’s caregiver, and your family.
Get organized with sample schedules and checklists.
Lifetime Access + MORE Bonuses!
Oh, and you get lifetime access to everything! I’ve actually already had a few mamas who are still in the trying to conceive phase sign up because they wanted to be sure to get in on the course while they can!
Course Workbook
You’ll also get a thirty page Course Planner and Note-Taking Guide that you can print out to keep you and your partner on track throughout the course. All of the key takeaways from each lesson are included with space to jot down any questions you have along the way and make note of any essential info you want to remember down the road!
Bonus Downloads
More than a dozen bonus downloads to help save you time along the way and get organized before going into labor—with everything from a hospital bag checklist to printouts for your fridge of who/when to call when in labor! After baby arrives, you’ll have even more invaluable bonuses as you prepare to soak up the 4th trimester with your new baby.
You’ve found out you’re pregnant and after the initial excitement (and sometimes shock!) wears off you start to wonder about all of the ‘do’s and don’ts’ of pregnancy. Some of those ‘don’ts’ like soft cheese, lunch meat, and caffeine may have you a little perplexed but one thing that most people know for sure is that you have to be very careful about alcohol consumption during pregnancy.
While giving up alcohol for nine months is a small price to pay to ensure a healthy start for your baby, it can be hard when you’re used to enjoying a glass of wine at the end of a long day or to mark a special occasion with friends.
We’ve tried quite a few non-alcoholic imitations here at The Birth Hour but have never felt confident recommending them because well, they just didn’t taste very good. This is where Surely comes in. Surely non-alcoholic wines actually taste like wine and they are delicious! Surely is made from natural ingredients and is low sugar and low calorie (30-45 calories per glass) which may be important to anyone who needs to monitor their blood glucose levels during pregnancy as well. Surely wines are also gluten-free and vegan friendly if those are important to you.
But the most standout feature of Surely is just how good it is and how much it tastes like real wine! It tastes like real wine because it is! Rather than bottle a poor wine imitation, Surely partnered with the finest winemakers in Northern California to make wine. Then, they use a dealcoholization process that removes the alcohol.
Surely spent nearly a year working with the best craft winemakers in California to make non-alcoholic wine that tastes amazing. They source grapes from premium California regions and carefully remove the alcohol to retain the natural aroma and flavor of the wine.
In addition to enjoying a glass of wine on the couch with your feet up at the end of the day, we especially love this option for special celebrations during your pregnancy. It would be so fun to have an assortment of Surely wines at your baby shower or take a bottle of sparkling rose on your babymoon to celebrate!
Birth Hour readers get 20% off + free shipping on all Surely products. Hurry, this is a limited-time deal that ends in 48 hours! Use code BIRTHHOUR at checkout to get your discount.
If you’re still skeptical, Surely offers a 100% satisfaction guarantee on all orders. If you don’t love it, they’ll refund you no questions asked. We can’t wait for you to try Surely wines and let us know what you think! Cheers!
Unfortunately, according to a study just last year, 60% of parents rarely or never discuss race/ethnicity or social class with their children.
Because books are a great place to start, our friends at LittleFeminist.com (a monthly diverse book club subscription) helped us curate a book list of anti-racist books for babies & toddlers.
Here are 7 often-hard-to-find book categories that are as important as ever to make sure are represented on your family’s book shelf.
Anti-Racist Baby(board book) – written by Ibram X. Kendi, a best selling anti-racist author and founding director of the Antiracist Research and Policy Center at American University, we are SO thrilled he wrote this must-have board book.
Not My Idea(picture book) – written for white families to challenge their white privilege, there is no other children’s book like this, and it’s a must-read. Right now digital copies are being offered for FREE.
Read books about Black rights & activism
The Undefeated(picture book) – stunning poetry and illustrations highlight Black history and Black futures in this award-winning book. Understanding Black history is essential to understanding American history, and this book serves as a great tool for acknowledging and celebrating the contributions of African Americans.
Let the Children March(picture book) – there are a handful of books written about the thousands of African American children that protested (and got assaulted…and arrested) in 1963 inspired by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. This one is our favorite.
Read books that celebrate racial diversity
Littles and How They Grow (board book) – this story lists the sweet and abundant ways we give love to our children. Black illustrator AG Ford beautifully depicts families across race, gender, and age spectrums.
We Are Little Feminists: Hair(board book) – Little Feminist wrote this book specifically for families to talk about celebrating race & ethnicity at home. Photos of real families is accompanied by playful rhyming text that will make this a book your kids keep reaching for. Sold as a set of 3 on Amazon. Can be purchased separately on LittleFeminist.com/giftshop.
Read biographies of people of color, beyond athletes and musicians
Think Big, Little One (board book) – Black author & illustrator Vashti Harrison (we love her so much) shines light on powerful women of color. Her simple introductions to visionaries from around the globe prove educational to adults and children alike.
Mae Among the Stars(picture book) – inspired by Mae Jemison, the first Black American to travel to space, this book encourages everyone to reach for the stars. Make sure to talk about racism with your kids when Mae’s white teacher discourages her dreams.
Enjoy fun fiction board books by Black authors about Black characters
Calling Dr. Zaza(board book) – your family is going to fall in love with Zaza, and (SCORE!) it’s a series. Showcase a strong, spunky, Black girl on your bookshelf! We picked this book to highlight because Zaza plays doctor in this story, and it leads to lots of fun imaginary play at home.
Baby Goes to Market (board book) – the routine task of grocery shopping becomes a colorful adventure filled with joy, and delicious treats! Enjoy counting along as Baby and Mama work their way through a bustling West African market together.
Baby Says (board book) – a board book remake of a classic, we love this tender sibling relationship filled with small annoyances and big love.
Read books about being bullied for being different
Sulwe (picture book) – a gorgeous tale about loving ALL of ourselves by Academy Award winner Lupita Nyongo.
The Proudest Blue(picture book) – Hijabi gold-medal Olympic fencer Ibtihaj Muhammad brings authenticity to her own story of wearing a hijab at school. A powerful reminder that something as simple as showing up in the world observing your faith and heritage requires incredible bravery.
My Heart Fills with Happiness (board book) – with beautiful scenes reflecting Indigenous cultures, this book celebrates the simple joys of life.
May We Have Enough to Share (board book) – gorgeous photos all taken by Indigenous female photographers capture the spirit of gratitude.
Read books celebrating all family structures & genders
We Are Little Feminists: Families (board book) – with photos of real families and rhyming text, this board book showcases different families with one thing in common: love. Let your kiddos wonder about gender pronouns and expressions as they observe the people on each page.
Love Makes a Family (board book) – beautiful metaphors highlight the emotional love and labor caregivers pour into families. We love the diverse family constellations which even highlight singlet parents and elder caregivers.
Introducing Teddy (picture book) – we love how this book features gender identity and expression – it’s accessible to the toddlers and so heartwarming! Teddy and his friends show us what it looks like to be loved and accepted exactly as we are, regardless of gender, appearance or our favorite hobbies.
Books that celebrate all bodies and abilities
Lovely (picture book) – there are so many bodies and intersecting identities celebrated in this book, every time we read it we discover something new we love. Jess Hong uses sparse words like ‘black’ and ‘white’ and ‘fancy’ and ‘sporty’ to highlight how all of our bodies are lovely. We love how the illustrations challenge our expectations!
We Are Little Feminists: On-the-Go (board book) – where are all the books featuring characters with disabilities as more than someone to pity or save? We have NO idea! So we published this book to feature as many kids with disabilities as possible moving in all sorts of ways.
This guest post was written by Brittany Murlas from Little Feminist Book Club. Hungry for more? Or want our help curating the best picks for your family? Join Little Feminist book club. Use code THEBIRTHHOUR for 15% off any Little Feminist subscription.
All three of our kids have attended Montessori or Montessori-based preschools and we love the minimalistic and practical approach to toys (or works), furniture, and daily rhythms. When we were planning to transition our one-year-old into a room that was more for him than an afterthought/sometimes guest room, I knew I wanted to bring in some of the Montessori designs I had come to love. I fell in love with the simple Montessori furniture from Sprout and partnered with them on this post. You can use the code birthhour for 10% off at Sprout.
6 Things to Consider when Designing a Montessori Bedroom for Baby
There are a few key elements when designing a Montessori room for your baby or toddler.
Montessori Floor Bed for Baby
While you can definitely just put a mattress on the floor, we decided to go with a beautiful, yet simple, natural wood bed frame that can grow with our baby. This bed from Sprout keeps him from rolling over the back side and then as he gets older you can flip it over and have it a little higher off the ground. We have a few furniture items from Sprout and my favorite thing about their products is how easy everything is to put together. I can put it together by myself without any tools and very quickly! Floor beds are a staple in Montessori because they encourage independence, allowing baby to get in and out of bed as needed.
Organic Mattress for Baby
Another important aspect of the bed, for us, was having a non-toxic mattress. Conventional mattresses are filled with all kind of nasty ingredients that no one should be spending half of their day laying on! We decided on a twin mattress from My Green Mattress that is GOTS Certified organic and comes in a bunk size that is the perfect thickness for our floor bed! We also got their Organic Cotton Waterproof Protector because, well, accidents happen, but at the same time I didn’t want to cover our organic mattress with a mattress protector that wasn’t toxin-free as well.
I personally love having a comfortable mattress to lay down on when I’m in our little one’s room too! We still nurse before naps and bedtime and it’s so nice to cozy up together on a mattress that’s big enough for me too!
Play and Movement Space for Baby
We have a simple infant shelf, also from Sprout, in our baby’s room that is great for pulling up on and choosing his own toys to play with. We rotate out toys periodically to keep it interesting and prevent the shelf from being overwhelming with too many items. We always have blocks, some sort of puzzle toy, a stacking toy, books, and musical instruments (current favorite is a very loud drum!)
Finding high quality toys that will last a lifetime is important to us and we find that all three of our kids have enjoyed these items more than the flashing/noise-making toys that flood many store shelves. We are currently loving the quarterly subscription box of Montessori materials selected by age from Monti Kids. You can use the code BIRTHHOUR40 to save $40 + free shipping on your first Monti Kids order! Monti Kids provides Montessori subscription boxes and access to child development experts for children ages 0-3. Monti Kids subscription boxes come with toys and guidance in an easy to use program to give your baby the best education from birth.
Mirror
Mirrors are a frequent component of Montessori spaces and a great addition to a bedroom. We have ours behind the play area so our baby can make silly faces and watch himself play. For a younger baby, many parents will put the mirror next to the bed or changing area so baby can see themself while laying down on the floor. An easy tip for getting a mirror (and what we did), is to use one of the giant mirrors that many home builders install in bathrooms. You can remove it and hang a mirror in the bathroom with a bit more character! Or check online for people giving away these old bathroom mirrors.
Dressing and Self Care Area
Allowing your child to choose their own clothes and dress themselves from an early age is one of my favorite Montessori ideas. Not only does it make life easier when you are avoiding battles over clothing but I love to watch the creative outfits that come together! Obviously with a one year old, their ability to dress themselves is limited but even at 14 months, our baby knows that hats go on his head, socks go on his feet, and pants go on his legs. He will pull clothing out of his child-size wardrobe and place them where he thinks they belong on his body and then we can help him actually get dressed.
I love our Alba wardrobe from Sprout because it is customizable— we can add and remove shelves and doors based on the stage our little one is at. Right now we use all of the shelves and left the door off of the hanging clothes side so that our baby can see his jackets and sweaters and grab one when we ask him if he’s ready to go outside!
Simple Decor
Babies and Toddlers don’t benefit from a character-themed bedroom (it’s more for the adults, right?) and Montessori rooms tend to include neutral colors and natural materials without a lot of excess clutter. If you do add wall decor, make it something that’s safe to hang at their eye level so they can enjoy it—it’s their room after all! We actually have a couple of canvases that our older kids made for the baby’s room before he was born that I still need to lower to his level since I doubt he even knows they are there currently! One of our baby’s favorite things in his room is the sheepskin rug. It’s so soft and he will often crawl over to it just to roll around for a bit!
Conclusion
Creating a Montessori based room for your baby doesn’t have to be perfect! Have fun with the design elements but focus on keeping it simple! Less is more and it won’t always be a picture-perfect space (see below!) but the goal is for baby’s room to be a place that he (and you!) want to spend time and explore together!
