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Dawn has two kids and two entirely different birth stories.

During her first pregnancy she constantly worried that she would get to the hospital too late for drugs. Her entire birth plan was just the word “DRUGS!” written on a piece of paper. But she also didn’t want to arrive to the hospital so early that they sent her home because she was one centimeter dilated and already screaming for an epidural.

When her labor started everyone, including Dawn, just assumed she was a wimp when it came to the pain level. So she labored at home for quite some time. Then her water broke and her contractions were coming on top of each other. But they weren’t lasting a minute! Dawn was waiting for 511, and because her contractions weren’t lasting a minute she thought she was fine. She was not fine.

They zoomed to the hospital and were given the devastating news: Dawn was too far along to get drugs. She was 9.5 centimeters when she got to the hospital and the baby was 100% born 45 minutes after she arrived. There were no drugs, but there was plenty of cussing.

Dawn assumed her second delivery would be similar to her first, and maybe even faster. But instead of being one week early her second baby was one week late. And instead of bursting out in a frenzy, baby #2 took his sweet time. 24 hours after she checked into the hospital her second child arrived. The good news: there was plenty of time for drugs the second time around. And not nearly as many cuss words.

dawn dais birth stories

Dawn Dais Bio

Dawn Dais is a freelance writer, designer, and filmmaker from Sacramento, CA. Her previous books including The Sh!t No One Tells You, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Baby #2, The Overly Honest Baby Book, and The Nonrunner’s Marathon Guide for Women were published by Seal Press, have topped best-seller lists, and have been featured by countless TV and print media sources. Her uniquely sarcastic yet inspiring tone has entertained and guided an enthusiastic core of readers towards their various ridiculous parenting and athletic goals. Dawn’s most recent book The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy offers “been there, freaked out about that” advice for expectant parents.

Dawn lives in Roseville, CA, with her partner, two kids, two dogs, two cats, and the occasional mouse brought into the home by said cats. She is tired. Stalk Dawn online at


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